This Week in Bullshit Special Black Friday Edition

30% off our already low prices on this list of Bullshit curated special just for you!*

What You Missed: 90th Annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

Many of us wake up Thanksgiving morning with the intention of watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, but often we sleep in too late and miss the entire show. Other times, we have not eaten enough Pillsbury cinnamon rolls to mentally prepare for Charlie Brown, Hello Kitty, musical guest Regina Spektor and the bunch. If you missed the emotional roller coaster that was last year's 90th annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, here is a quick recap to get you ready for this year's event.

Starbucks manager hopeful brags about 1,000 sexual encounters

by Jessica Wildfire

Now that everyone's all worked up over this sexual harassment stuff, it's time for me to speak up on behalf of every living thing on earth that might have genitalia. Or reproductive organs. Or both.

President's Support of Black Friday Proves He's Not Racist; But Aides Split On Tyler Perry

by Herbie McDoolittle & Sons

President Trump informally told a group of friends today that he hoped everybody goes shopping in support of Black Friday, so the black people of America could finally have a special day, instead of being crime-ridden losers in their hell holes, as he once described it, on the campaign trail.

Flashblack Friday bonus:

Minimalism, the poor person way

by Kara Eva Schlegl

If there is one thing I hate in this world, it's excessive wealth. I mean, not for me. I'd love to have an excess of almost anything, but especially wealth. Or cheese. I really like cheese.

*also for everyone else. You're not that special. Sorry.

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